Christmas Musings
by The Rising Phoenix
Summary: Usagi truly loves Christmas...But even she gets lonely sometimes too. Holiday one-shot. Rated T to be safe. Please Review!


_**(A/N: Just a little something, AU, but relatively light, happy, and cute. I hope you all enjoy! Please Review! ~The Rising Phoenix~)**_

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Usagi watched the soft glow of the colorful lights in front of her, and the small fire in the fireplace off to her side.

It was made even more peaceful by the late evenings the full moon's light coming through the half shaded window, reflecting off the high amount of snowfall that had fallen the day before.

She loved Christmas.

She inhaled the light cinnamon flavored candle burning nearby; mixed with the residual smell of baked apples from the kitchen, and pine from the small tree itself.

Usagi leaned back into the oversized chair, resting the book she had been reading on her lap; her feet curled under her. She felt a light chill over her body, but made no real move to move, or grab the blanket that laid behind her head.

Baked apples with crispy topping was about the only dessert Usagi knew how to make well, and she would make it for all it's worth. Especially in the winter months. Even if it was only for herself.

She had settled into a log cabin; renting it. The rent was lowered for her upkeep of the place, as she had made friends with the owner.

It was a small one bedroom, with a decent kitchen and living room area.

She had drifted apart from some of her friends that she had known in middle and high school.

She did keep in contact with a few, loved them very much, and were still close to them.

But being in the mountains as an author, she had become a little more reclusive.

Usagi had a rather large falling out with a few of the scouts, who, while they would fight for her and with her as Sailor Moon they were _not_ friends by any stretch outside of their duty.

She had also become lonely since leaving Tokyo. Usagi and Mamoru made the mutual decision to breakup because he was leaving for school in the States. That had started the falling out.

What solidified it was the fact that she was finally willing to say no to her destiny. She wanted to not only change it, but write her own.

If she wasn't ostracized by the scouts who disagreed with that decisions; those who did support her were there, but she didn't want to be the reason all their friendships possibly crumbled. She didn't want to put her supportive friends in the middle, so Usagi decided it was best to leave.

Usaig quickly learned that it was very difficult to make friends in the mountains.

She enjoyed her life right now, except when the depths of loneliness became too much.

Usagi would then venture out; but it would only be for a day or two; seeing those who restored her heart and her faith in humanity.

It helped that she would see news of the Scouts on TV all the time. That certainly helped matters.

But she still missed the way they laughed, their company, their fun banter…

She missed it all.

Hearing a knock at the door, Usagi proceeded cautiously. It was 11:30pm after all.

Only a select few truly knew her geographical coordinates location.

And it was only to be used in case of emergency.

She peeked out of the side window, and gasped at what she saw.

Swinging the door open, Usagi ushered more than a chilly Makoto in quickly.

"What are you doing here?" Usagi bear hugged her almost as soon as the door closed behind them.

Makoto did not answer until her teeth stopped scattering. Luckily that wasn't long because Usagi had practically thrown her in front of the fire, taking the snow covered outwear off, and throwing on the blanket Usaig had been rested on

"I had to see you."

"Why? Rather, why in this weather?"

"It couldn't wait."

"What couldn't? Makoto, are you okay? Is everyone else okay?" Usagi was beginning to get worried.

"Yes, we're all okay. I promise. Nothing to worry about."

Usaig gave a soft smile in relief, but wanted Makoto to continue.

"How are you?"

"I'm, I'm good. Better now. Thanks."

"Of course. How is the cafe going?"

"Really well. It helps to be your own boss though"

"But it's a lot of work."

"It is. But you're no stranger to that, Usagi. Another book release I see."

Usagi gave a small blush. "Yeah...I didn't think these silly little stories would become so popular."

"Silly? If they weren't geared to the YA demographic, they would be on the top romance novels for the adult list. As it is, it tops the YA lists."

"Makoto...It's really not that good."

"Do you even pay _attention_ to your own success? Even a little?" While Usagi was beyond humble, even Makoto worried that Usagi didn't even recognize her own talent.

"You didn't come here to bug me when the next book is out, or for spoilers have you?"

Makoto laughed.

It wouldn't have been the first time.

"Not at all. However, back in Tokyo, you've got a _ton_ of teenage fans (and a few of us adult fans, myself included) wondering what's going to happen between Rose Emerald and Sparkle Grace in the next installment of Crystalline Oak. You did leave everyone on a cliffhanger ya know."

Usagi blushed again. "It's not even written yet."

Makoto smiled.

"Quit changing the subject, Makoto. Why did you come to visit? (Not that i'm complaining, but curiosity killed the cat after all)."

"Very subtle."

"Makoto…"

"I came here to say that I love you."

"Makoto..I love you too. I always have…"

"No, Usagi…" Makoto did not repeat herself, but simply stared at Usagi, the fire on their side all but illuminating the most important depths within their eyes.

Usagi and Makoto have technically been together for the past few years. They both had feelings of the other; and this wouldn't be the first time Makot admitted her love for Usagi. But Usagi was much more cautious with the relationship.

Originally citing wanting to be completely over Mamoru initially, they soon started exploring an aspect here and there.

They were in a comfortable place. Both had an understanding there was no pressure to neither move beyond where they were; or move the relationship to a more intimate level when they were both not in agreement.

Typically Makoto's "I love yous" though were easier to say than having a drawn out conversation. Essentially they were a checking point too, as to see where Usagi's feelings were. If they moved forward, great. If they remained the same, than Makoto would continue to be patient.

As much as she _did_ want to nudge Usagi forward, she had more than enough respect for her to wait.

Yet Usagi's slight reclusiveness was twofold. She was alone to write; alone because of her deteriorated friendships with some of her friends; and because she decided to take literal control of her life; her destiny.

But that didn't mean Usagi had failed to self-reflect; especially when it came to Makoto.

Even if it was somewhat fueled by loneliness; especially over the last few days, Usagi's feelings for Makoto had indeed intensified over time.

She thought of Makoto so much more when she was alone,. Her eyes her voice, her heart, her warmth…

Everything Usagi loved about Makoto and then some.

To Usagi, she just wanted to reassure Makoto, too afraid she'd take Makoto for granted; too afraid to lose Makoto.

However, the strange difference between Usagi's relationship with Mamoru, and Makoto was that with Makoto, Usagi never felt the need to become jealous or possessive. She didn't feel that strongly with mamoru either, but she also realized she was a teenager too - feelings of jealousy were somewhat normal.

But with Makoto, Usagi knew there was no other competition.

Usagi never felt more _secure_.

Usagi knew a while ago the duel intention behind Makoto's 'I love you." First and foremost because they were true. That's precisely why she was never angry at Makoto for using them as checkinupss.

But it was Usagi who had yet to say "I love you" and have it mean more; like she wanted it to, rather than, what felt like less.

Usaig loved Makoto, very much.

Could she see spending the rest of her days with Makoto? Sure. It wasn't hard, at all.

In fact, Usagi had been thinking of Makoto in those terms lately.

On the rare occasion, when Usagi would let her mind drift enough, she would picture a wedding.

But she would quickly disengage from that little fantasy, as she didn't want to get too carried away.

Usagi was much more content thinking or feeling Makoto's arms around her, holding her, much in a similar setting that they were in, in this very moment.

But Usagi; and she knew this, as did Makoto: Usagi's self-doubt would typically creep in, all but leaving Usagi with little hope as to why Makoto was with her.

Though with the past few years she shoved that self-doubt aside, and would really concentrate on the good. The good reasons why Makoto was with her, and using all of the past conversations that she had had with Makoto that she could think of as evidence and reasoning.

But Usagi thought on things.

Was she really ready to return the sentiment?

Makoto watched Usagi, as she saw the wheels turning in her head.

Usagi would make eye contact with her, only to return her eyes to the fire by them.

But then Usagi made eye contact again, and maintained it.

Before Makoto could finish the soft ' _What_ ' that was coming out of her mouth from the almost too intense stare, Usagi took her face in both of her hands and kissed her.

Soft, even tentative at first, Usagi's kiss quickly gained a bit of momentum and passion.

Though it was over almost as quickly as it had began, they were both breathless, Usagi having rested her forehead on Makoto's, looking lovingly into her eyes, with a blush to her cheeks.

Usagi's own 'I love you' clearly no longer needed to be said aloud.

"Does this mean-"

Usagi kissed Makoto again. This kiss warmer, and longer than their first. Usagi pulled back to look back into Makot's eyes. "Yes, you fool."

Makoto burst out laughing. She loved Usagi's timing, and sense of humor.

"Stay?" Usagi asked. Not that Usagi was planning to kick Makoto back out into the cold anytime soon.

Makoto smiled widely, quickly realizing the underlying simplicity of the meaning.

She wrapped her arms around Usagi and brought usagi to her, settling her into her lap, resting her chin on top of Usagi's head.

Usagi closed her eyes, peacefully.

After a few moments of contented silence, Makoto had two final comments.

"Is that apples I smell, and is there ice cream?"

"Mmm-hmm…"

Another few moments passed, with neither moving for the dessert.

"So...How will you work this into Crystalline Oak, with Sparkle and Rose?"

Makoto felt Usagi chuckle, and saw her smile.

"You'll find out when I get around to writing it..."

"When will you start?"

"I thought we don't rush the author…"

"Not rushing, curious."

"Tomorrow."

Makoto felt Usagi shift in her arms briefly.

"Merry Christmas Makoto."

Usagi heard Makoto gasp quickly in surprise.

Makoto had completely forgotten it was originally Christmas Eve when she arrived.

"Merry Christmas Usagi."

Makoto hugged Usagi closer, and heard Usagi in contentment.

The End.

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 ** _(A/N: Thanks again! Please Review! ~TRP~)_**


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